have you seen the new viagra commercial??? oh my. guys in a barn with musical instruments dancing and singing "viva viagra!!" my mom and i thought it was a spoof.
if you want to sing along the next time it airs, here are the lyrics:
VIVA VIAGRA LYRICS
Got me a honey gonna set my soul,
gonna set my soul on fire!
At the end of the day
I'm not a guy to stray
because she's my heart desire.
Now this lonesome toad
is sick of the road
I can't wait
CHORUS; Can't wait!
I can't wait to go home.
CHORUS: Viva Viagra! Viva, VIva, VIVA VIAGRA!
watch it here.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
showering is overrated.
YOU USE 20-35 GALLONS OF WATER EVERY 5 MINUTES YOU SHOWER!!!!
for the past week, i've actually had reasons not to shower - which is always a plus. i dunno why, but sometimes my best friend and i feel like showering is a chore, especially in the summer.
situations when it's okay not to shower for a few days:
1. when you're at the beach (X)
2. after you've been tattooed (X)
3. when you're camping ( )
4. when you're in college ( )
when we were on vacation, my cousin and his girlfriend would shower before they went to bed, before they went to the beach and after they got back from the beach. in that amount of time, i would shower 0 times. we got there saturday (after not showering), and my mom and didn't shower until late sunday night. our logic: you wake up and just go back to the beach anyway... so why shower before getting all sweaty and sandy??? at the pinnacle of my un-showeredness, i actually washed under my arms with hand soap. outside. with a hose. hahaha!! just thought i'd share. but that is what the beach is all about... nobody cares what you look like. people walk in stores directly from the beach, most of them still in bathing suits. you can get away with wearing short shorts and an unmatching top... anything goes.
funny clip: men vs. women in the shower.
facts that will (hopefully) make you wanna conserve water...
An American family of four uses up to 260 gallons of water in the home per day by:
Tap running for two minutes: 3 – 5 gallons
Flushing toilet once: 5 – 7 gallons
Showering, five minutes: 20 – 35 gallons
Full bathtub: 60 gallons
Automatic dishwasher: 10 – 20 gallons
and if you care more about money than our water supply, here are statistics that may stir your interest and make you want to conserve water too...
Water Conservation provides benefits welcome in every household by saving money three different ways:
1. Water Conservation will lower water bills.
2. Water Conservation in the winter will lower your annual sewer charge.
3. Conservation of water saves you energy costs for heating that water.
what really bothers me are sprinklers that water the sidewalks instead of the lawn. californians (who live in a state with an endangered water supply), should REALLY be more concerned about conserving water.
Did you know that up to 50% of the water used in the summer is for your lawn?
• Water the lawn and garden at dusk when the day is cool, watering during the heat of the day can account for up to 60% evaporation loss.
• Mulch the garden to retain moisture in the soil.
• Use a bucket of suds to wash the car and only rinse with the hose using a nozzle.
• Sweep walks and driveways instead of hosing them.
source: www.rcgov.org/pubworks/water/facts_about_water_use.pdf
for the past week, i've actually had reasons not to shower - which is always a plus. i dunno why, but sometimes my best friend and i feel like showering is a chore, especially in the summer.
situations when it's okay not to shower for a few days:
1. when you're at the beach (X)
2. after you've been tattooed (X)
3. when you're camping ( )
4. when you're in college ( )
when we were on vacation, my cousin and his girlfriend would shower before they went to bed, before they went to the beach and after they got back from the beach. in that amount of time, i would shower 0 times. we got there saturday (after not showering), and my mom and didn't shower until late sunday night. our logic: you wake up and just go back to the beach anyway... so why shower before getting all sweaty and sandy??? at the pinnacle of my un-showeredness, i actually washed under my arms with hand soap. outside. with a hose. hahaha!! just thought i'd share. but that is what the beach is all about... nobody cares what you look like. people walk in stores directly from the beach, most of them still in bathing suits. you can get away with wearing short shorts and an unmatching top... anything goes.
funny clip: men vs. women in the shower.
facts that will (hopefully) make you wanna conserve water...
An American family of four uses up to 260 gallons of water in the home per day by:
Tap running for two minutes: 3 – 5 gallons
Flushing toilet once: 5 – 7 gallons
Showering, five minutes: 20 – 35 gallons
Full bathtub: 60 gallons
Automatic dishwasher: 10 – 20 gallons
and if you care more about money than our water supply, here are statistics that may stir your interest and make you want to conserve water too...
Water Conservation provides benefits welcome in every household by saving money three different ways:
1. Water Conservation will lower water bills.
2. Water Conservation in the winter will lower your annual sewer charge.
3. Conservation of water saves you energy costs for heating that water.
what really bothers me are sprinklers that water the sidewalks instead of the lawn. californians (who live in a state with an endangered water supply), should REALLY be more concerned about conserving water.
Did you know that up to 50% of the water used in the summer is for your lawn?
• Water the lawn and garden at dusk when the day is cool, watering during the heat of the day can account for up to 60% evaporation loss.
• Mulch the garden to retain moisture in the soil.
• Use a bucket of suds to wash the car and only rinse with the hose using a nozzle.
• Sweep walks and driveways instead of hosing them.
source: www.rcgov.org/pubworks/water/facts_about_water_use.pdf
my two favorite insects.
lightning bugs vs. fireflies
lady bugs vs. lady birds ....what do you say???
some questions about lightning bugs answered here:
Q: why don't fireflies live in the western US???
A: because it's too dry... lightning bugs like moisture, humidity, lakes and rain.
Q: i've noticed fewer and fewer fireflies every summer, why???
A: you can thank urban sprawl and chemicals/pesticides. :( basically, we are the only ones to blame.
Q: how do lightning bugs light up???
A: it's complicated.
why some people call lady bugs "lady birds" (and vice versa):
Ladybird is a name that has been used in England for more than 600 years for the European beetle Coccinella septempunctata. As knowledge about insects increased, the name became extended to all its relatives, members of the beetle family Coccinellidae. Of course these insects are not birds, but butterflies are not flies, nor are dragonflies, stoneflies, mayflies, and fireflies, which all are true common names in folklore, not invented names. The lady for whom they were named was "the Virgin Mary", and common names in other European languages have the same association (the German name Marienkafer translates to "Marybeetle" or ladybeetle).
source and more info found here.
lady bugs vs. lady birds ....what do you say???
some questions about lightning bugs answered here:
Q: why don't fireflies live in the western US???
A: because it's too dry... lightning bugs like moisture, humidity, lakes and rain.
Q: i've noticed fewer and fewer fireflies every summer, why???
A: you can thank urban sprawl and chemicals/pesticides. :( basically, we are the only ones to blame.
Q: how do lightning bugs light up???
A: it's complicated.
why some people call lady bugs "lady birds" (and vice versa):
Ladybird is a name that has been used in England for more than 600 years for the European beetle Coccinella septempunctata. As knowledge about insects increased, the name became extended to all its relatives, members of the beetle family Coccinellidae. Of course these insects are not birds, but butterflies are not flies, nor are dragonflies, stoneflies, mayflies, and fireflies, which all are true common names in folklore, not invented names. The lady for whom they were named was "the Virgin Mary", and common names in other European languages have the same association (the German name Marienkafer translates to "Marybeetle" or ladybeetle).
source and more info found here.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
thanks joan didion.
i finally started reading joan didion's "we tell ourselves stories in order to live," a collection of her non-fiction short stories and novels. i carefully absorbed every perfectly structured detail and even reread some stories i've already read and i feel inspired. didion is an author i aspire to emulate. and now i finally feel like writing short stories and poems again!! i should have picked up one of didion's novels earlier because for the past year i've been in a slump, but now i've got ideas, lots and lots of ideas and i'm starting 7 things at once because i don't want to lose any of these precious details i've created today on the beach. :)
thanks miss didion.
p.s. honorable mention goes to "open city," the spring/summer 2002 edition. seeing what is being published (especially if i think i can do better), gives me hope. no offense to the contributing authors...
but i can't touch joan didion. she is light years above me. i can only hope that through osmosis, my writing will one day reach an iota of her magnitude. oh how amazing it would be to meet her.
thanks miss didion.
p.s. honorable mention goes to "open city," the spring/summer 2002 edition. seeing what is being published (especially if i think i can do better), gives me hope. no offense to the contributing authors...
but i can't touch joan didion. she is light years above me. i can only hope that through osmosis, my writing will one day reach an iota of her magnitude. oh how amazing it would be to meet her.
i'm sunburnt.
(and refusing to say "sunburned" because "sunburnt" sounds better).
yesterday my mother and i went to a used book store and got some new reading material for the beach. an interesting book surely beats the typical mindless magazine with articles you've already read a thousand different ways. so my mother got "i bury my heart at wounded knee," "in the spirit of crazy horse" and an anne sexton biography. i got "valley of the dolls" (i wanna read it before i see it because i heard the movie is awful), "this n' that" (bette davis's autobiography), "open city" (a collection of short stories and poems) and a book for andrea (i won't say what it is in case she reads this). my grand total: $12. i got a $1 discount because the sides of the pages of "valley of the dolls" appear to have reddish makeup splattered on them. (it's not blood, because blood dries brownish, the store owner informed me).
last night my mother and i were walking on the boardwalk and i heard my name. i turned around and it was robbie, a guy i went to middle school and high school with!! i see him all the time because he's a manager at a local food store (he's also a postman). and he's also gotten to know my grandmother since she goes grocery shopping on a daily basis, hehe. it's just funny to see someone you know when you are on vacation, but i should have figured i would see at least one person i know on the boardwalk.
today we stayed at the beach alllll day and went in the water for a long time. the waves were really rough and they seemed to be right after each other (and we were pretty far from the shore!!) at one point a wave crashed down on us and churned up so much sand that we got as sandy as we would have had we rolled in it. i fell asleep on my back with my knees bent for who knows how long so now i have sunburnt thighs, stomach, and chest. ye-ouch!! my cousin left behind some aloe vera gel, but i'm convinced that stuff contains some sort of pseudo-alcohol because it burnssss. tip: non-scented lotion works better. and if it's the coolness of the aloe you like, just put the lotion in the fridge.
tonight my mother and i ate at a little seafood restaurant then we went back to the boardwalk. my mother bought a pair of shorts and i went into a head shop to find some morrissey paraphernalia (patches, stickers and/or buttons) for missy, but no luck. :( they didn't have any good foo fighter stuff and they only had one 311 patch. the only blondie thing they had was a scratched up key chain that i scored for 50 cents. (the other key chains were $4 and this one was in the $1 basket because it had scratches on it). for 50 cents, i couldn't complain. this is the graphic on it.
yesterday my mother and i went to a used book store and got some new reading material for the beach. an interesting book surely beats the typical mindless magazine with articles you've already read a thousand different ways. so my mother got "i bury my heart at wounded knee," "in the spirit of crazy horse" and an anne sexton biography. i got "valley of the dolls" (i wanna read it before i see it because i heard the movie is awful), "this n' that" (bette davis's autobiography), "open city" (a collection of short stories and poems) and a book for andrea (i won't say what it is in case she reads this). my grand total: $12. i got a $1 discount because the sides of the pages of "valley of the dolls" appear to have reddish makeup splattered on them. (it's not blood, because blood dries brownish, the store owner informed me).
last night my mother and i were walking on the boardwalk and i heard my name. i turned around and it was robbie, a guy i went to middle school and high school with!! i see him all the time because he's a manager at a local food store (he's also a postman). and he's also gotten to know my grandmother since she goes grocery shopping on a daily basis, hehe. it's just funny to see someone you know when you are on vacation, but i should have figured i would see at least one person i know on the boardwalk.
today we stayed at the beach alllll day and went in the water for a long time. the waves were really rough and they seemed to be right after each other (and we were pretty far from the shore!!) at one point a wave crashed down on us and churned up so much sand that we got as sandy as we would have had we rolled in it. i fell asleep on my back with my knees bent for who knows how long so now i have sunburnt thighs, stomach, and chest. ye-ouch!! my cousin left behind some aloe vera gel, but i'm convinced that stuff contains some sort of pseudo-alcohol because it burnssss. tip: non-scented lotion works better. and if it's the coolness of the aloe you like, just put the lotion in the fridge.
tonight my mother and i ate at a little seafood restaurant then we went back to the boardwalk. my mother bought a pair of shorts and i went into a head shop to find some morrissey paraphernalia (patches, stickers and/or buttons) for missy, but no luck. :( they didn't have any good foo fighter stuff and they only had one 311 patch. the only blondie thing they had was a scratched up key chain that i scored for 50 cents. (the other key chains were $4 and this one was in the $1 basket because it had scratches on it). for 50 cents, i couldn't complain. this is the graphic on it.
Monday, August 6, 2007
i *heart* east coast summers.
for those of you who don't already know, i'm back in my home state enjoying time with family and friends. my mother rented a little bungalow and we are at the beach until saturday!! we really lucked out considering we never saw the house before we rented it. the house is small and dated, but it's nice!! my cousin and his fiancee stayed here a few days, their friends stopped by and spent the night on sunday and my friend lindsay visited for the day. we took some AWESOME polaroids and the photo you see above.
few moments of my trip so far:
visiting my grandmother; shopping for angels without faces; my cousin's 3-year-old daughter jumping off the diving board like a pro; my mom's bonko; winning the booby prize (thanks to andrea); poison ivy on my arms, shin, ankle and stomach (it's alright because i sorta like poison ivy); andrea singing to avril lavigne's "girlfriend" hahaha; roxie the vegetarian dog; my mom and i saying "we should get tattoos!!" at the exact same time; being on "vacation time," which means eating dinner at 10 pm; not being in a phone mood (sorry rick!!); the beach; polaroids with best friends; old ladies staring at me and lindsay while we were taking advantage of the self-timer; photo booth refunds; playing scrabble with my mother; swimming; crackhead whore heads; quoting "fear and loathing in las vegas"; being the only sober person able to make a beer run and driving stick without stalling; not showering; probably being the only 22-year-old on the swingset at 8 pm on a tuesday night, hahaha. more to come!!
i love east coast summers!! i've really missed the warm summer nights, the lightning bugs the beaches and the utz pretzels!! california may have a lot of nice-looking beaches, but they're pretty dirty and the water is cold and i always feel like the sand is dirty. :( so i am swimming in the atlantic every chance i get!! i love the ocean. the only thing cali beaches have going for them are the sunsets. next summer, my mother and i want to rent a bigger, four-bedroom house with rick, my cousin and his fiancee, lindsay and her man, and my mom's beau. renting a beach house with a bunch of friends is something i've wanted to do since i was in high school so hopefully this plan will materialize!!
pssst... did you notice the link to andrea singing to avril lavigne?!! hahaha. if not, here it is:
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
mystery solved.
just have to share a hilarious moment that happened while i was on my grandmother's laptop (that once belonged to my cousin). i was on the log-on page when i asked...
me: so, did we ever find out what Bohica means??? what kind of name is that?! it's gotta mean something...
my grandmother: yeah, it means "bend over, here it comes again..." anthony and vincent made it.
me: *dumbfounded* and laughing.
HAHAHAHAHA. aye my grandmother. gotta love her. <3
me: so, did we ever find out what Bohica means??? what kind of name is that?! it's gotta mean something...
my grandmother: yeah, it means "bend over, here it comes again..." anthony and vincent made it.
me: *dumbfounded* and laughing.
HAHAHAHAHA. aye my grandmother. gotta love her. <3
monday to monday.
this week i worked every day except monday.
tuesday: i worked a promo at a gym from 12-7pm. the promo required me to pick up 40 lbs of ice on my way... so i stopped at a grocery store whose shtick is to have the bag boys and girls to ask if you need help carrying your bags to your car. so i asked one of the bag boys where the ice was. i was expecting to get four 10 lbs bags of ice (which is manageable to carry without a cart) but instead, there were only 20 lb bags. i was in a rush, so i didn't bother to get a cart. when i got the ice to the register my arms were freezing cold and red. soooo instead of asking me if i needed help hauling this 40 lb ice berg to my car, the stupid bag boy says, "so... did you find where the ice was?" uhhh, DDDUUUUH. what a lazy ass.
tuesday night: rick and i went to the library and checked out some movies. we watched Love Actually during dinner. ***random fact/memory: the first time i saw that movie was with andrea and tyler when andrea and i flew out to visit tyler in 2004. we made the mistake of visiting during california's infamous "june gloom" and our approval rating for california significantly dropped (temporarily). however, we did have a great time in san diego and at the 311 concert in santa barbara. (where rick was!!) AND we were on TV two nights in a row in brief clips from the pepsi smash concert series... we went to see 311, naturally.***
wednesday: i worked the same promo from 6am-2pm. this time i got a cart when i picked up the ice. rick and i watched Uncle Buck because neither us had ever seen it in its entirety. the plot is predictable but john candy is funny and mccauley culkin is ADORABLE and this was pre-home alone. little culkin definitely used to outshine any actor he shared a scene with. Richie Rich is a classic good time, despite imdb's rating.
thursday: worked for michael making wedding albums. there was no AC in the studio and it was pretty toasty... and of course i was wearing capris, socks and shoes and a tank top under a tee shirt because usually i am cold in there. i finished what i had to do, then i stuck around to help brandon finish up some portfolio albums. rick and i met up with rick's friend mike and jessica (mike's wife) at the cheesecake factory (Mmm!!!) and they treated us to dinner. we also hung around the mac store while mike was deciding which desktop he's going to buy. and naturally we took loads of silly mac photobooth photos. i got some plans when i get my hands on that program. :)
friday: worked for michael making wedding albums. dave and michael (the owners) weren't there, so i closed myself in their office with a fan and blasted some fiona apple. funny moment of the day: at one point brandon came into the office and asked...
brandon: want to do me a favor??
me: ooook... what is it??
brandon: wait, what time is it??
me: (without missing a beat) why, do you want me to wake you up???
brandon: *dumbfounded* yeah!! how did you know?!!
hahaha. so he took a nap in the little comfy conference room where couples review their wedding photos/albums.
saturday: worked a promo 10am-5pm. went to rick's parents' house during my lunch break. then (after sitting in much traffic), rick and i met up with tyler in santa monica!! (i hadn't seen tyler since... august 2005?!! damn). it was good to finally see him again. we hung around the promenade and had dinner. while we were waiting for our name to be seated, tyler and i ran to the mac store and took some silly photos together. we had LOTS of catching up to do. it took us 6 months of me living in cali to finally get together (he lives about 2.5 hours away) but now that we've finally met up, hopefully we will hang out more often.
sunday: assisted michael/was 2nd shooter at a jewish wedding in beverly hills. i met michael's brother (who is a videographer) and his assistant. there was TONS of food at the wedding. i ate sushi and strawberries (from the reception) and they fed us the good stuff (choice of steak or halibut). on our way home, i had an insightful conversation with michael. ***fact: michael bought his first house at age 18, his second at 21 and a plane before he even knew how to fly it*** we didn't get home until 12-12:30 am.
monday: met up with dave to return his portfolio books. he bought me lunch and we chatted about kids, life, work and mtv's "my super sweet sixteen." hopefully he'll have some good gigs lined up when i return to california. he's definitely my favorite person to work for and his help and confidence in me has been invaluable.
tuesday: i worked a promo at a gym from 12-7pm. the promo required me to pick up 40 lbs of ice on my way... so i stopped at a grocery store whose shtick is to have the bag boys and girls to ask if you need help carrying your bags to your car. so i asked one of the bag boys where the ice was. i was expecting to get four 10 lbs bags of ice (which is manageable to carry without a cart) but instead, there were only 20 lb bags. i was in a rush, so i didn't bother to get a cart. when i got the ice to the register my arms were freezing cold and red. soooo instead of asking me if i needed help hauling this 40 lb ice berg to my car, the stupid bag boy says, "so... did you find where the ice was?" uhhh, DDDUUUUH. what a lazy ass.
tuesday night: rick and i went to the library and checked out some movies. we watched Love Actually during dinner. ***random fact/memory: the first time i saw that movie was with andrea and tyler when andrea and i flew out to visit tyler in 2004. we made the mistake of visiting during california's infamous "june gloom" and our approval rating for california significantly dropped (temporarily). however, we did have a great time in san diego and at the 311 concert in santa barbara. (where rick was!!) AND we were on TV two nights in a row in brief clips from the pepsi smash concert series... we went to see 311, naturally.***
wednesday: i worked the same promo from 6am-2pm. this time i got a cart when i picked up the ice. rick and i watched Uncle Buck because neither us had ever seen it in its entirety. the plot is predictable but john candy is funny and mccauley culkin is ADORABLE and this was pre-home alone. little culkin definitely used to outshine any actor he shared a scene with. Richie Rich is a classic good time, despite imdb's rating.
thursday: worked for michael making wedding albums. there was no AC in the studio and it was pretty toasty... and of course i was wearing capris, socks and shoes and a tank top under a tee shirt because usually i am cold in there. i finished what i had to do, then i stuck around to help brandon finish up some portfolio albums. rick and i met up with rick's friend mike and jessica (mike's wife) at the cheesecake factory (Mmm!!!) and they treated us to dinner. we also hung around the mac store while mike was deciding which desktop he's going to buy. and naturally we took loads of silly mac photobooth photos. i got some plans when i get my hands on that program. :)
friday: worked for michael making wedding albums. dave and michael (the owners) weren't there, so i closed myself in their office with a fan and blasted some fiona apple. funny moment of the day: at one point brandon came into the office and asked...
brandon: want to do me a favor??
me: ooook... what is it??
brandon: wait, what time is it??
me: (without missing a beat) why, do you want me to wake you up???
brandon: *dumbfounded* yeah!! how did you know?!!
hahaha. so he took a nap in the little comfy conference room where couples review their wedding photos/albums.
saturday: worked a promo 10am-5pm. went to rick's parents' house during my lunch break. then (after sitting in much traffic), rick and i met up with tyler in santa monica!! (i hadn't seen tyler since... august 2005?!! damn). it was good to finally see him again. we hung around the promenade and had dinner. while we were waiting for our name to be seated, tyler and i ran to the mac store and took some silly photos together. we had LOTS of catching up to do. it took us 6 months of me living in cali to finally get together (he lives about 2.5 hours away) but now that we've finally met up, hopefully we will hang out more often.
sunday: assisted michael/was 2nd shooter at a jewish wedding in beverly hills. i met michael's brother (who is a videographer) and his assistant. there was TONS of food at the wedding. i ate sushi and strawberries (from the reception) and they fed us the good stuff (choice of steak or halibut). on our way home, i had an insightful conversation with michael. ***fact: michael bought his first house at age 18, his second at 21 and a plane before he even knew how to fly it*** we didn't get home until 12-12:30 am.
monday: met up with dave to return his portfolio books. he bought me lunch and we chatted about kids, life, work and mtv's "my super sweet sixteen." hopefully he'll have some good gigs lined up when i return to california. he's definitely my favorite person to work for and his help and confidence in me has been invaluable.
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