celebrity droppings.

i stayed up and wound up watching "the hills" and "bam's unholy union" (two of my guilty pleasures). it was kewl because in the most recent episode (episode five) of bam's unholy union, bam and his friend drive to new hope, pa and go into a medeival store (the medeival gallery) that i've been in before!!


in fact, my dad bought me a pewter ring from that display case (shown above). it's celtic and it has a dark circle dug out with a little three-leaf clover (raised) in the center. it was kewl to be able to recognize the area. i also... and i HATE to admit this... watched the video for avril lavigne's new single "girlfriend." (hey, it was right there on MTV.com, i almost had no choice). i think she's trying to pass for ashlee simpson and it might work because nobody can really recognize ashlee simpson anyway, after all of her plastic surgery. so it seems avril has stolen her identity. she's blonde now (loooong extensions) but is still "bad ass" and "punk" AND has a new single named "girlfriend." hmmmm... sounds A LOT like ashlee, whose single was named "boyfriend." not at all an ashlee fan??? (my bf loathes her) than you will get a kick out of this petition.

and i'd hate to condone sites like the superficial but since i haven't had access to a national enquirer recently (i skim through them every time i go over my grandmother's house), i sometimes browse the celebrity "scandal" sites. usually i feel a bit envious over certain celebrities (especially when i find out how much they earn per movie!!) but part of me feels REALLY bad, like actually sorry for them. i guess it's good to realize that although celebrities seem larger than life sometimes, they are just "regular" people (who happen to be loaded). so it's kind of refreshing to see that with allll that money, kirsten dunst looks even pasty-er than myself or that lindsay lohan dresses like michael jackson. i suppose it's true that it's better to have a lifetime of anonymity, but for celebrities, this is true: the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. unfortunately for them, "lack of private life" is a prerequisite for stardom.

BONUS: here's even more celebrity gossip for you: supposidely gisele bundchen had to gain 14 pounds to weigh enough to be able to walk in the dolce & gabbana show in Milan next week. that's pretty sickning... but at least some countries are taking the incentive to enforce healthier weight requirements for models.

R.E.M

no, not the band... the crazy, jerky movements your eyes make while you're asleep. i am currently preoccupied, watching my boyfriend's eyes dart back and forth beneath his eyelids. he fell asleep on my lap. (i'm perched with my laptop teetering on the arm of the couch... my usual spot). now i kind of want to know what i look like while i'm asleep. i've been dreaming of cats lately. it always bothers me when i can't remember a dream i had. i used to go to this website a lot, it's an online dream dictionary. it used to be easier to navigate before glamour took over the site. i don't know how accurate the interpretations are, but sometimes it's fun to browse around, plus there's horoscopes there too.

yesterday i begrudgingly went to a job temp place because i need money to pay the rent. i talked to dave nagel (who i can't say enough good things about) and he said, "no, don't get an office job!! you're too good for that!!" (nothing against people with office jobs, but that's like a prision sentence to an aspiring photographer). so dave gave me a good photography website and he has source books that he wants to give me. he has been so nice and so helpful... i really appreciate all he does. he told which photographers to steer clear of and which to pursue. i hope he gets a ton of jobs next month so i can PA for him. dave is the man!! so glad i met him.

today i scanned A LOT of photos. i posted some photos on flickr that i took with me colorsplash flash camera. some were from new years!! i also scanned all of the polaroid i took of and around dave's house. i will be posting them in small doses tonight, tomorrow and thursday because i do not want to bombard my contacts. i cleaned out the closet in the spare room so my mom has a place to put her clothes when she comes to visit... which is SOON!!!!!! :D can't wait. she wants to go hiking, kayaking and whalewatching. we also have tickets for the late late show with craig ferguson and we are going to make meatloaf. those are the plans. i also thought of something really kewl (a surprise!!) that i know she'd want to do... but i don't know if it's possible yet... hmmmmm. i'm determined to make it work though. i need to make some phone calls.

rick and went to library and got some mooovies. i also checked some photography books out. i beat my mother and rick at scrabble today. during dinner, rick and i watched the dinner game (a french comedy) after i vetoed lost in la mancha (not enough johnny depp in the first five minutes of the film). and i talked my best friend tonight!! :) she's a working girl now. full-time. human resources. and she has the cute matchy-matchy business attire to prove it. : P hehehe. the only downside: she won't start "accruing" vacation time until she's been with the company for SIX MONTHS. which means... no andrea visits any time soon :( ugh.

jokes

joke i sent my grandmother:

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM" and left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."


joke my grandmother sent me:

HILLBILLY

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"
The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

WEEKEND IN REVIEW

friday: i worked PA for dave nagel again. i made it to work just on time!! in fact, i was the first one there (pretty impressive). the shoots went really well; i had a lot of fun. the second model of the day gets my vote. she was personable, bubbly, and actually talked to the crew. plus she was enthusiastic, unlike the first girl on friday who was stiff and trying way too hard. i met dave's wife who was really nice (and stylish) and hooked us up with an awesome playlist that made the perfect soundtrack for the day. we borrowed some chairs from the patio around frank coraci's pool (he's the guy who directs all of adam sandler's movies). i put together some lighting equipment, got picked on by tom, moved a lot of furniture, got lunch in hal's car, almost got in a fight with a woman in a CROWDED parking lot, missed a turn on my way back and had to call rick to mapquest the route for me... hehe. i also took a BUNCH of polaroids around dave's house. i will be uploading them soon, probably tomorrow. :)

saturday: went to rick's parent's house (they currently aren't in town). did FIVE loads of laundry. rick washed his car and his dog magoo. i took some photos and made this awesome photo collage (inspired by david hockney). we ate at chilli's and then i fell asleep while we were watching das boot, a german movie about life aboard a U-boat during WWII. then rick and i met up with his friend cheryl in chinatown to see their friend sal play in his band invid. the set up was a bit odd... the "stage" was the bed of a semi-trailer in the middle of an alley next to a jazz club. there was also another "stage" set up like that with bands playing at different times. we went into this little bar named "mountain" whose walls are painted drippy red... it looks like blood. we thought sal's band was going on at 11:00, but they didn't play until 11:45-midnight. they sounded pretty good and the singer was really entertaining. it quite the scene. i felt like such a wuss thinking it was cold outside...

sunday: lounged around all day... hung up clothes. rick did the dishes (we had a lot of them!!) i ate A LOT. all day long. i played scrabble online with my mom and lost... but only because the website hates me and wouldn't let me put my last letters down!! i dropped some film off at costco from my colorsplash camera. (i get the prints back tomorrow). rick and i went foodshopping and bought a lot of canned goods. i got a package from my grandmother... she sent me some silverware, pretzel crisps (Mmm!), and a big book about gnomes!! rick and i watched green street hooligans (pretty good movie, except for the ending. think "the beach" but set in the uk and with elijah wood). we also watched the departed (amazing movie, pretty vulgar. AND it won 4 oscars tonight: best adapted screenplay, best director, best picture and best film editing... SHESH!!)

work.

POP QUIZ!!
you have job that is approx. 30 miles away. you have to be there at 9 am. your job is in beverly hills. to be at work on time, you must leave at: a) 6:45am b) 7:00am c) 7:30am d) 8:00am e) 8:15am
(answer below)

finally, found work that doesn't feel like "work." yesterday i worked as 2nd production assistant to photographer dave nagel and i had a blast!! the shoot was for a spike tv amateur modeling contest. i got to help set up lights, setup/breakdown equipment, take production stills, and be the model stand-in when the guys were testing the lighting. the crew was awesome, a lot of kewl people: dave (of course), tom (1st assistant/lighting tech), hal (digi tech), lisa (stylist) and i can't think of the makeup artist's name (doh!) but she was really nice too!! there is another shoot for spike tv tomorrow at dave's house with two different models where i will be doing the same things. i really hope dave could use me as a full-time assistant because he's a great guy and so fun to work for/with. there's also a possibility i could land a few jobs with tom if he ever needed an assistant. he was really helpful and easy to get along with... so hopefully he could use me. and now i met another potential photo buddy (hal) who is always down for impromptu amateur photo shoots. :) so glad dave gave me a chance!!

answer for pop quiz: a. 6:45 am... that's what time i have to leave my apartment tomorrow to be at dave's house!! california traffic blows... but i have some good tunes and tomorrow will be fun so it don't matta!!!!

WORLD'S GREATEST MOM. (that's my mom!!)

around noon, i received an unexpected visitor. there i was, sitting on the couch with my lap top, still in my pajamas and i had thee most hideous bed-head. it was an older man wearing an orange polo. being the semi-cautious person that i am, i didn't open the door. however, the persistent knocking made me a bit curious.

i studied the stranger through the keyhole and noticed he was wearing a name badge. upon closer inspection, i noticed he was holding a balloon. i figured my mom got a balloon delivered to me and that the man worked for my apartment complex, so i opened the door. there stood the man, holding five grocery bags. i was a bit baffled. i don't even remember what he said, i just remember him asking me where i wanted the groceries. i just took them from him, laughing, finally understanding the situation.

he worked for Albertson's. the groceries were from my mom; she ordered them online and had them delivered to my apartment. (yes, my mom is the best mom ever!!) the bags contained the following items: two mangoes, a carton of strawberries, grapes, two containers of blueberries, mushrooms, carrots, 2 lbs of boneless chicken breast, broccoli, two cans of olives, a pack of dial soap and a heart-shaped 'i love you' balloon.

(soap not pictured. and as you can tell, i started eating the strawberries before i took the photo, hehe).


what a pleasant surprise!! THANKS MOM!! <3

new polaroids

new additions added to my photostream.

pool
Originally uploaded by jena ardell.

enjoy!! :D

week in review

appologies for being MIA this past week. here is what you missed... (complete with links for further exploration!!)

wednesday: (valentine's day) i made rick 20 heart-shaped carrot cake cupcakes. i went all ghetto-martha stewart on those puppies!! i couldn't find carrot cake cake mix, so i had to buy spice cake mix and add my own grated carrots. then i realized that i forgot to buy raisins... so i jacked some from the raisin bran box. (now rick will know why his raisin bran only has one scoop of raisins instead of two scoops, hehe). i topped them with cream cheese icing and they are delicious!! rick got me roses and a "get well" balloon (because he felt bad no one was buying it) and he made me dinner... pad thai and ginger chicken!! it didn't come out too bad considering we don't have a wok and it was his first try. he did accidentally dump waaay too much garlic in the ginger chicken though... but it was edible!!

thursday: rick, tim, aldrin and i drove (aka: sat in traffic) all the way to hollywood to go to the jimmy kimmel show. we had tickets to see incubus perform a mini-concert. we get there (a little late) all worried we weren't going to be let in only to discover that incubus cancelled :( because brandon boyd was sick. majorly disappointing. so we ate at CPK instead. since i signed up for tickets online, i wasn't notified of the cancellation and the date they rescheduled for (feb 25th) is now sold-out. which sucks. but thanks to tim and aldrin we had a fun ride home talking about portals and how it would feel to wake up in a field naked with hard nipples.

friday: we went to rick's parents' house and put together a computer armoire. standing back, admiring a big desk you assembled that was once merely a pile of wood and screws is rewarding. we also did some laundry there. we went to rick's sister's house to bring his neices some of the cupcakes i made rick for valentine's day. we talked to rick's mom for awhile and left around 10:30 pm (with a big bag or oranges from their backyeard, of course).

saturday: we were supposed to hang out with my friend tyler, but i never got a hold of him!! :( so rick and i went swimming instead. it was beautiful outside... 87 degrees!! the water was pretty cold, but it felt good to be swimming outside in february (considering all the snow i am missing back home). i scanned a bunch of polaroids. then rick took me to buffalo exchange so i could sell some clothes. out the entire BOX of clothes, only TWO items made the cut. (which is ridiculous because i was looking to sell the same type of clothing i saw in the store!!) i never knew a thrift store could be so picky!! of all things, one of the two items i "sold" was a yellow tee shirt that says, "Gay? Fine by me" that i got for free at college. it was either $5 cash or $8 toward store credit. so i took the store credit and bought myself a paul frank tee that is new with tags!! so i guess it wasn't a wasted trip afterall...

sunday: rick's parents saw our apartment for the first time!! then rick drove them to the airport. i met up with rebecca (miss rutabegabunny) for an afternoon of antiquing. we went to an antique mall in agoura hills, but we weren't able to find any "treasures" just a lot of shabby chic crap and soap with poppy seeds in them. but there is an antique store run by a little old lady that seems to have potential. the prices weren't too bad and the little old lady was nice AND the store didn't smell like soap. then we went exotic thai and ate soup. (the soups there are better than the entrees, trust me). after that we took these lovely double self-portrait shots in the bathroom (a signature rutabega tradition). and now there's a vintage poolside dress-up party in the mix. can't wait for that!! i'm so glad i met someone kewl who's into photography, polaroids, old movies, flickr and roadtrip adventures.

monday: went with rick to get new tires. when we got back to the apartment, there was a box in front of the door... it was a barrel of utz pretzel nuggets (my absolute favorite!!) with a note from my friend zac!! everyone who knows me knows i am a pretzel fanatic. it was quite a pleasant surprise, especially since i had just finished off my stash of pretzels. zac has always been such a thoughtful friend. i've known him since 11th grade and although we weren't able to hang out much while we were both in college, it's still always like old times when we get together. i really appreciate his friendship (and sense of humor).

for dinner, rick and i were planning on making some salmon... but it reaked. never freezing fish again... bad idea. so we had to run out and buy some chicken. we were about to help ourselves to some cornflake chicken (at 8:30) when we heard tapping on our window. my first thought: "oh shit, it's the neighbors..." but it was aldrin and jen!! so they watched us eat. luckily they had just gorged themselves at P.F. Changs because rick and i weren't about to share. we are very selfish with our cornflake chicken. and although i hate to admit it, i watched the hills and bam's unholy union on mtv.com (because we don't have cable).